InsaneJournal

Current location:	my parents' place
Current mood:	sleepy
Entry tags:	mental health

keep my hands warm, and tell me;
Today I had a much better day.



Speaking with the counselor this morning was ... interesting. For the first time I addressed why some of the times therapy doesn't work for me. I'm not very good at coming up with subjects to talk about. I will force myself to talk about just about anything, but ... I need prompting. For next week I'm going to prepare a list of 'prompts' about what to talk about.

And yeah, I was concerned that what I want to talk about wouldn't be the right things or the important things which will help me or be therapeutic. But the counselor said that doesn't matter. So. I just have to come up with a list, I guess.

She also gave me some good ideas about how to get calories into myself if I don't feel like eating. We don't have smoothies in the house, but a United Dairy Farmers is like ten minutes away on foot, and that'd be both food and exercise, two things I really need to be doing.

And sleep, let's not forget about sleep, but she had less helpful advice about that.

... When I first moved home, I didn't trust myself enough to buy sleeping pills to keep here. That concern has lessened, even if I've gotten worse again - because I'm just feeling numb, not anything else - but I'm treating my 22-year-old self as the wiser person.

I didn't tell that to the shrink. No need for a panic. I'm not stupid, and I've never done anything. I just like to be careful.

It bothers me a little she doesn't sound that old, but that doesn't matter. It just ... I dunno. It'd be weird if she was around my age or something. Probably not, but. Still. Weird.

But I ate two real meals, and I wrote a drabble, and I overall felt much better today.

I know I need to write real things again. Dragon Cycle, or New Vision, or my central original stories. Something.

My apathy on the subject doesn't help matters. I'm decently certain I'll never be published.

... Though with books like Twilight out, perhaps my standards are too high for myself. >.>




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